I went visiting teaching today. I am always glad I went once I’m done, but getting there is another story. Trying to get the schedules to line up, and then dragging kids in and out of the car, and making them be quiet for who knows how many hours is quite the chore. It seems like it is rather inconvenient most times, especially considering the ladies I go to are very active and have already gone visiting teaching and read the lesson. I know there is a good reason that we do this, but most months I can loose the vision through the details of making it happen.
Today I learned firsthand that “Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven”. I know it must seem pathetic to someone who experiences visiting teaching on a much more grand scale when referring to sacrifice, especially those who go to a long list of sisters and have to drive many miles to reach them.
Here is today’s visiting teaching story:
My companion called me late this morning to inform me that her little girl was sick, so I would be carrying the torch myself. So I went. I visit teach two people. On the first stop there was a gift waiting for me. A wonderful conversation that enriched me and gave me something new to think about. I love being able to learn from people that have “been there and done that”. This woman whom I visit teach has 4 children and is about 10 years ahead of me in life. She has had ups and downs with parenting, like most parents do. It must be tricky trying to make sense out of why one child is easy and good and then the other one can be difficult and make wrong choices when they live in the same circumstances. It is only natural for a mother’s head spin wondering what SHE did that went wrong.
Then this wise mother said something that I hope to hold onto through all of my parenting days, and here it is: “I have learned NOT to take credit for the GOOD or the BAD things my children do.” Either way, taking credit, can be damaging to you and/or your children. This was a new thought to me. I really took time to understand the ramifications.
Common sense leaves me to believe that I can teach, support, and love my children, but they will ultimately have the free agency to choose for themselves. I decided that I, as a parent, really don’t have the right to “own” the good or bad that my children choose to do. When they have become who they are, it is because of who they are – NOT who I am. (I’m not discounting when a child is younger and most definitely has a constant need for instruction. But little by little kids grow up and need to govern themselves after they’ve been taught the doctrine. This is where this new idea comes into play)
GOAL: I want my children to always be my friends and know that I respect and love them for who THEY are. Heavenly Father is the best example of this. I hope to remember that the right way doesn’t have to be my way, after all there is more than one way to skin a cat.