My head is filled with jumbled thoughts – like usual. Organization seems a thing of the past – so here are some of the odds and ends of my thoughts today.
Fasting – I have developed a greater appreciation toward fasting the older I've become. Believe it or not, I actually look forward to fasting each month. I am grateful for the ability it gives my spirit to better recall & understand gospel truths while strengthening my testimony. I like the way it makes my spirit sensitive and I feel closer to Heavenly Father and my brother, Jesus Christ. I like that we can choose to deny/sacrifice our physical needs temporarily and focus on our spiritual beings and commitment to follow the Savior's example.
JT funnies – Tonight we walked into the bathroom and found JT sitting on the toilet facing the tank singing – it was a priceless picture in our heads. He really likes to hang out on the toilet. Tonight at my parents house JT was outside standing by the cats and proclaimed, "mom, the kitty knows my name." I guess he can speak "cat" now. Also, last week, he and Olivia were eating lunch when Olivia decided to tell a joke. She said, "knock, knock, JT". He said, "Come in!" He got the last laugh on that joke! Me and Olivia laughed a lot at that one. On Friday we went out to pick some things up from my parent's house. JT took off his shoes and coat, walked directly to my mom and exclaimed, "I need some chocolate!"
Lexi Independence – I have always known that Lexi is an independent soul, but being independent and a teenager is really pushing it. 🙂 She is getting ready to put the Youth Etiquette dinner for our ward this coming Wednesday and is very determined to do as much as possible by herself. It is great to see her want to soar, but also forcing me to learn a lesson I wasn't ready to learn yet: I need to hop in the back seat now and give the least amount of input as possible. It's a good thing we are both patient – hahahaha. Really though, she is amazing and I admire her.
Handy Man – I am married to the most awesome man. He changed the break pads in my van yesterday, tidied the garage, and also made me shelves in my laundry room. To top the day off he helped Lily clean the bathrooms and also stayed up late with me and he mopped the whole entire wood floor! You can't imagine how big my smile was even though I was soooo tired. Some are probably thinking – what was she doing all day?!! I will keep you guessing, but I really wasn't sitting around eating chocolate cinnamon bears and reading a book – that does sound nice though! 🙂
Mason growing – Mason is officially done with Primary! Holy cow – I can't believe his 12th birthday is Wednesday. He wrote a wonderful testimony down today in his Faith in God Book and has a lot of depth inside his quiet demeanor. He still makes my heart melt when I see him smile – he is a sweet boy in a tough shell. Just the way I would order a boy if we did that kind of thing. He had his first winter camp experience with the Scouts on Friday night. He loved his snow cave and said he stayed warm all night. When eating dinner Thursday night, he told all of us, "this is the last night I'll be sleeping with you guys this week." I think he was hoping to make it through until Saturday….
Olivia's Date – Stephen and I decided it was about time for Olivia to go on a date with her parents Friday evening. It was a good call. Alexis helped her get ready by fixing her hair fancy and get all dressed up – she even put on sparkly fingernail polish! This meant a lot to Olivia. We all had a blast going to dinner and a movie ("Tangled"). She is a great conversationalist. She told us her Pre-School teacher taught her that there is a country named Bolivia and that she knows how to spell it – she proceeded to spell B*O*L*I*V*I*A. She was sooo excited get her own soda – a rare delight for our house. We got the daily special to eat from Costa Vida. While we were eating she said, "I'm special because I got the daily special." Stephen also bought her a $2 box of CareBear gummy bears at the movie – that is true love! She sat on my lap and I cherished the moment. On the way home we all talked about what it is like to be the fourth child of the family – Me, Stephen and her are all fourth in birth order. I think that made Olivia feel even more special than she did at dinner.
Lily Tattle Tales – So this morning Lily was upset because JT and Olivia were eating all of the popcorn that was brought home from the movie last night. She really wanted to eat some, but she was fasting. I became impatient with her whining and soon she began crying. After trying to console the inconsolable I told her to go cry somewhere else, not by me – I know great parenting on my part, NOT! I had an appointment with getting ready for church and left her to crying. She showed up to church with puffy eyes and the question, "do you think everyone will notice I've been crying?" I said, "Just smile really big and they won't notice your eyes." After sacrament meeting we each went to our own classes. Stephen and I ended up in Primary after Sunday School for opening exercises to help congratulate Mason on advancing from Primary and earning his Faith in God award! As I was out in the hallway, Lily's teacher approached me and asked, 'is everything ok?" I was puzzled and said, "sure". He explained that Lily told their class that I've been stressed out. OOUCH – the truth hurts and is embarrassing! I realize that sometimes I allow the pressures of normal life to get me overwhelmed. "Meeting life's demands with frustration" could be a tag inserted beneath my name often times. I told him briefly of the morning happenings. I told him that, "Yes, I am pretty much a walking stress case," while I smiled and laughed at myself. Inside I was humiliated and left a mental note to myself: "YOU'VE GOT TO CHILL OUT!" When driving home from church, I asked Lily what her lesson was on. She told us that they were listening to a story about a family that needed to pray for their dad because he was having a hard time. She said after the story, she rose her hand and said – "We need to pray for our moms too." I guess that is when she spilled the beans about her stressed out mom – me. As I listened, I realized that I had a few different choices of reactions to go with and settled on saying, "That's right Lily, I am really glad that you would pray for me. Mom's need to be prayed for to." And I really meant it! I feel like a dog with its tail between its legs. If anything could motivate me to change – this is it! I am really going to give an honest effort to keeping calm! It is obviously something Lily would appreciate. p.s. I never really wrote down anywhere that Lily also approached the Bishop on the stand after sacrament meeting the Sunday before my birthday and let him know that my birthday and name were left off of the weekly bulletin. She is always looking out for me – such a thoughtful girl!