Stephen and Jodi Parker Family

This morning I walked through my kitchen and shuddered a little. I noticed caked food on the floor, hand prints all over the windows and appliances, smears all over the bar stools, incessant crumbs crunching under my feet and lightbulbs that are burned out. Not to forget the slime covering certain cupboard knobs, baseboards that need to be painted, and the plants on top of my cupboards that haven’t been dusted for eons.

And that is just the kitchen! I could elaborate describing the rest of the house but it would bore the reader and zap my energy supplies.

Apparently I went on strike…crept in this summer with my eyes wide open as child after child shattered my dream world of an ideal CLEAN living space.

In early June it hadn’t happened yet as I followed them around pointing out the troubles I saw as they gradually took over. I tried to remain calm and hopeful, even tried to work out compromises in my mind, but by the end of the month I got overtaken and pulled out the white flag. There is 1 of me and five of them and I had to surrender. I decided it is better to keep the peace and lower my standards, not to say that inside I still didn’t have an internal struggle.

I went on strike to make a point – "I can’t clean and then sit back and watch my precious efforts come unraveled anymore." And I didn’t want to freak out about it any longer sparking resentment issues in the years to come with a few certain children. It seemed to only be important to me and finally I decided that it just wasn’t worth the effort to get to enjoy it for 5 minutes!

Now that school has started the war is over and I am left here to pay penance for my silly immaturity! It might take me a full school year to reclaim what has happened around here…wish me luck!

Comments:

Magan said…

I hope you can still over look things at my house because I apparently I have surrendered too!
Wednesday, September 02, 2009 5:11:01 PM

Bruce said…

You got to be comfortable in your own house, so being Mom, you get to make the rules and teach everybody to keep things like you like them. When it comes to your personal standards of cleanliness, patience sometimes is not a virtue. Stick with your guns and slowly they will learn. Sharon taught me to be more neat and clean.
Thursday, September 03, 2009 7:00:48 PM

michelle said…

Wow-sounds familiar! If it helps, I think your home is beautiful. I keep telling myself that someday I am really going to miss all those hand prints and crumbs and sticky spots. At least it helps to think so.
Thursday, September 03, 2009 9:46:40 PM

A few weeks ago my mother-in-law gave me a start to "Amish friendship bread".  As she handed it to me Bruce said he wasn’t sure if it is such a friendly thing to give this start away – it is more like a burden (or something to that effect).  I knew what he meant because my mom used to make this and I remember her feeling bittersweet about it all. Now I had the opportunity to experience it first hand.

I took it knowing what it entailed, but willing because I thought my children would enjoy it. It was kind of fun mashing the bag and trying to figure out if I was on the right day…you see it takes 10 days of babysitting on your kitchen counter until the day finally arrives to bake. Well, I made it and it was a hit with my kids and tasted just like I remember my mom’s tasting like from when I was a kid. Stephen was more skeptical and passed it by claiming he "didn’t know how many hands have touched that."

I made the bread the night before I went visiting teaching. I was excited about the timing thinking I would have someone to share the 4 new starts with and pass on the responsibility. One friend was a taker (bless her heart), but the other two refused and gave me a lengthy explanation as to why they weren’t willing to commit. I readily understood and didn’t blame them, however I still had 3 homes to find.

Life got busy and a few days passed when my mom came to town. I thought, "now I can give one to her and have her take 2 home to my sisters in Utah!" Good plan? NO – she and I forgot about it on the day she left. Great – now I have 3 starts of friendship bread to babysit. I tended to them and this past Saturday was day 10 for the second time and to the third degree. It was a busy day and inconvenient to try and make 3 batches of bread and bake them for an hour each and also distribute and get the other 12 bags filled. I feel embarrassed to admit this but I  will rid myself of the guilt now – I ended up throwing one start away. Even doing that I ended up with 8 new starter bags that needed a home/friend. Imagine if I would have had 12! Talk about out of control…BTW – does anyone have a recipe to make pancakes or any other recipes that you can use that start for? I thought the bread was fun, but it would be nice to have other options too. (when I decide to do it again in like 5 years when my mind has forgotten about this)

I made my distribution hit list yesterday after church. I packaged up a jumbo muffin from yesterday’s batch as a sample and figured these people couldn’t resist if I gave them a sample too. Here is a little secret… I decided it is better to give them away to people who you know a little but not too well – this way they don’t have the heart to tell you no.

As I passed these starts to their new friend I wonder if I just strengthened my friendship or not? Hopefully they have the mindset that "it’s the thought that counts". Either way I have now passed my responsibilities and have felt the "burden" lifted.

Comments:

Scott said…

It’s okay to say anything you want about anyone, as long as you follow it with “bless her heart.”
Monday, August 31, 2009 7:46:54 PM

Sharon said…

Thanks, you expressed my feelings also. But it was fun for a while. I just need to rid myself of the burden now.
Monday, August 31, 2009 10:09:27 PM

Just finished a book with this title written by Nancy E. Turner. I am a fan of historical fiction and this is a highly recommended read!  ( I have been on hiatus with my computer time because of it) I knew it was one I wanted to read when my sister-in-law Magan told me about it. It did not disappoint and was very emotionally compelling.

(Off of Nancy E. Turner’s Website) "These Is My Words uses the love of learning as a major plot element in a story inspired by her great-grandmother, Sarah Prine. It is set during a time in Territorial Arizona when life was hard and tenuous. The story is a portrait of the courage and perseverance of one woman, and a love affair that will never be forgotten."

FYI, apparently there are 2 more books after this. Anyone ventured to read them?

I seemed to be able to see myself in the main character in the fact that she is completely contradictory at times with her feelings – especially toward her husband, but DID NOT relate when it comes to her fearlessness in combating Indians, snakes/animals, death, and heartache.

I dogeared a few pages to write down a some favorite quotes.  They might not mean much to most, but will to me:

"Children are  a heavy burden to a mother, but not the way a heavy box is to a mule. Our children weigh hard on my heart, and thinking of them growing up honest and healthy, or just living to grow up at all, makes a load in my chest that is bigger than the safe at a bank, and more valuable to me than all the gold inside it." You really have to read the book to realize the helplessness she must have felt in just trying to keep them all alive.  Also felt I could mirror those words to my life in 2009 in a small feeble way – a mother will always worry about her children!

Talking about her husband she said, "In so many things he is rough and ornery but in ways of our family, he is always so gentle it is like I am married to two different men. I love them both and need them equally." Just think it is sweet and my idea of a good romance. He really wasn’t ornery as much as always leaving her to go battle Indians with the military, but he needed her with much urgency. He loved a thrill but he couldn’t live without her.

"My life feels like a book left out on a porch, and the wind blows the pages faster and faster, turning always toward a new chapter faster than I can stop to read it." Great description of how time can seem to slip through our fingers! Very interestingly noted that she adored books and learning – I like how she compared her life to something she loved and could personally relate with.

Get your libarary card out and go get yourself a copy soon!

Comments:

Mom and dad Parker said…

We loved the quotes and the blog. We feel that they were very descriptive of life.
Monday, August 31, 2009 10:02:01 PM

Magan said…

glad you liked it too! I have a another really great read when you are ready well in fact three really great reads in mind.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009 4:30:22 PM

Alexis, Bajio,  Color, Date Night, Email, Friends, Grandparents, Health, Ice (crushed if you are wondering), JT, Kitchen appliances, Lily, Mason, Nieces & Nephews, Olivia, Parents, Quilts, Reading, Stephen!!!!, Temple, Underwear, Vision, Water (especially on a hot day) and with my ice), Xrays, Years that have been good to me, Zits to keep me humble

stephen begged and pleaded with me to ascend up teewinot with him for his birthday. i had many reservations, but none of them seemed like good enough excuses. alas, the day dawned and we started the long steep journey. others invited to the party were: bruce, mason, and paul. also climbing was hayden (a boy from bruce’s neighborhood) when we were about 10 steps up the trail, i realized that i was in for a hard day. as we finally got out of the tree line the rock boulders faced us out past the snow glacier. this is where i found out that i am not adventurous in anyway. i was scared to shaking! eveyone else seemed thirlled and up for a new challenge. I knew the only way to get it over with was to do it, then something bad happened when we were 30 minutes from the top …a handhold that I thought was good came loose – the rock (about the size of my head) came loose and bounced off of my other hand. "Shoot" is what I said as I shook my hand as it bulked up 3xs its normal size. after realizing i couldn’t bend it, i decided it would be too dangerous to try to make it to the top. bruce graciously offered to help me start back down the mountain, so that mason could make it to the top with stephen.

i was happy to be going back down, but scared out of my mind to have to cross the glacier again. it isn’t something i every hope to do again. with every step, i thought about how my 10 year old son would have to descend this as well